Paula's Projects, Youth Culture

Confessions of an internet lurker

Internet culture has always been extremely compelling to me.

I love Twitter, TikTok, Instagram, Podcasts, and Youtube. I read a lot of blogs, I’m in hundreds of facebook groups, and I am deeply obsessed with Pinterest.

You wouldn’t know it if tried to creep me online because I have an *extremely* small internet footprint. I am an internet lurker.

I feel like I consume way more than I contribute to the internet. Let me give you some examples:

  • I always have a twitter tab open and I scan it constantly, but I tweet inconsistently and infrequently to my 450ish followers.
  • I spend hours scrolling on Tik Tok, and while I’ve liked thousands of videos, I’ve only personally created and published a five.
  • I’ll read hundreds of articles/blog posts each week, but only ever write one or two myself.
  • I spend a decent amount of time on Instagram, but posted my last photo on my personal account in November…

I LURK.

If the internet was a party, I’d be at the party, but I’d be in the corner hanging out with my closest friends. I’m talking to my friends, but I’m keeping an eye on the other kid’s chaos.

The thing is… that chaos kind of looks like fun and I think… I might be ready to stop lurking.

I don’t have BIG goals here. I don’t want to be famous. There is a new show coming out on HBO called ‘Fake Famous’ – all about people who want to be famous influencers and make that their job. It gives me hives thinking about it.

I’ve never wanted to be the person in front of the camera or the ‘talent’ (I am a Producer for a reason!). I have zero urge to put myself out there and start dancing on Tik Tok. But I will because I want to be respected for being a part of it. If I’m using an internet analogy here – I don’t really want to be David Dobrik… I want to be Natalie… but on a very small scale.

I also think it’s key to note here that I don’t want a *massive* following. The idea of millions of people following me is… terrifying and NOT the goal at all. However… if I’m currently a ‘nano-influencer’ based on my numbers, I’d love to build to something in the ‘micro’ level. Think thousands (maybe even one day 10s of ks) rather than hundreds.

My motivation for this is to become an established ‘expert’. I would really love to be called up to write about TV for bigger publications, or talk about it on podcasts. I want to build a small following so that when I have cool documentaries or shows I’ve made, I can share them and not feel like I’m sending them out to the void. I want to use the internet as a means to the goal and not the goal itself. Does this make sense?

Basically – I’m trying to establish a strong brand.

I feel weird talking about this, but I want to put it out there in the world because maybe someone can help me figure out a plan to make this happen. I have no clue what I’m doing.

I know the ‘answer’ to level up from a lurker to a participant is to… actually participate.

I feel like I should be creating way more. I should bring my camera everywhere and capture everything. I feel like I should be posting daily (even multiple times a day) on every platform I use. I feel the pressure to give my $1.80 every day on every platform.

But I really don’t want to feel like I have to do anything. I want to do things because I want to them. I post things on this blog when I’m passionate about something (which is why most of my blogs lean to Love or Hate). I know myself well – when I’m having fun, I create my best stuff.

I know I need to find my own style on the internet and stick to it. Make it somewhat more consistent, but not to a level that I feel overwhelmed and quit.

I also know that I need to find my niche. So I’d love to hear what you think my current niche is. What do you think I currently do well and what do you want more of?

All of this is to say that I’m launching a new goal to help get this ball rolling. I already blog, newsletter, tweet, etc. It’s time to make TikToks:)

Get excited for fun content like this:

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