Most of my readers are female millennials – which means I know you are ready to talk about Disney love triangles. We are the generation of the epic love triangle within the teenage Disney set.
Well friends, Gen Z has finally entered the chat with a triangle between Olivia Rodrigo, Joshua Bassett, and Sabrina Carpenter. I’m finally ready to dive into this new trio and drama since we’ve now have songs to discuss from all three. But before we do that, lets take a walk down memory lane and remind ourselves of some of the epic Disney love triangles of past.
Remember this one? The OG Disney channel love triangle feud.
To catch you up. Aaron Carter (brother of Nick) guest started on Lizzie McGuire in 2000 where they met and started dating Hilary Duff. After a year and a half of dating – he then dumped Hil for Lindsay Lohan because as he says “I just got a little bored so I went and I started getting to know Lindsay.” That is a real quote from 2005 (which is INSANE). He then dumped Lilo for Hil. Then cheated on Hil. But then the drama wasn’t about scumbag Aaron – no no – the girls fought each other. So then Chad Michael Murrary got involved as Lilo’s costar on Freaky Friday (in 2003) and then as Hil’s costar on Cinderella Story (in 2004). The two girls both “dated” him (read publicity dates – they never dated) and more gas was added to the fire when Lilo apparently called CMM to talk smack about Hil. Then Lilo mde fun of Hil on SNL. Then Hil’s new boyfriend Joel Madden refused to give Lilo’s brother an autograph… it goes on for years. But the drama was INTENSE. But like, let’s also remind ourselves that this all kicked off when they were thirteen… which is WILD.
At the end of the day after years of drama, tabloids, meltdowns, and failed reality shows – only one person came up on top: Lizzie McGuire herself, Hilary Duff.
Ah young love. Remember when Joe Jonas dumped Taylor Swift on an phone call in 25 seconds. Because I do. You could say I’ll Forever and Always remember it…
This little love triangle lead to some pretty epic songs from Taylor (including her SNL monologue song). So even if Joe thought his new girlfriend Camilla Belle was Much Better than her, Taylor came back with Better Than Revenge . It was a song war that my little 16 year old heart was deeply affected by but now as an almost 30 year old, my favourite Taylor-Joe reference is in Invisible Strings:
“Cold was the steel of my axe to grind
For the boys who broke my heart
Now I send their babies presents”
All ends well.
THE DRAMA with this one was spicy back in the day. We all watched Nick and Miley meet and fall in love on the set of her show, Hannah Montana. They dated, we got some cute photos, and then it all blew up and we got this banger from Miley:
The issue was that Nick went from Miley over to Selena back to Miley until Miley went off with her Last Song co-star Liam Hemsworth. We all know what happened between Miley&Liam – but when they announced their engagement back in , Nick Jonas wrote a song called Wedding Bells. It never was formally released but he preformed it a concert and people went nuts for the drama of it all:
Fast forward to 2016, Demi Lovato and Nick go on Carpool Karaoke. Within 30 seconds Demi starts spilling the tea explaining how Nick dated Miley, then Selena, then Miley. It’s very fun.
For her part, Selena wasn’t really apart of the song drama of this trio. She’s much more famous for her song drama with Justin Bieber. There are almost too many to name but generally ‘Lose You to Love Me’ vs ‘Sorry’ are my favs.
Is everyone cool now? Who knows, who cares. Everyone seems happy on their own paths.
Welcome friends to the 2021 Disney Love Triangle.
Let’s meet the players. On one side – we’ve got Olivia Rodrigo. The star of High School Musical: The Musical: The Series. We stan. We love her in that and we love her as her. She is amazing. In the middle we’ve got Joshua Bassett. Another star of High School Musical: The Musical: The Series. He had the potential to be the next Zac Efron but after this who knows. He and Olivia met on the set and a very cute little thing going on. He’s a little bit older than her (at the time 18 to her 15) but there was chemistry. Apparently the iconic I love you speech he gives her at the end of the show was improvised and thus we know – he *actually* loves Olivia. Well – that was all a lie. Turns out, he never loved her and went for Sabrina Carpenter. Sabrina is also a Disney star – a main character in Girl Meets World, and it’s important to note that she is blonde and older (read – a more age appropriately gal for Joshua).
So Olivia is heartbroken. she takes that pain and writes a KILLER song called drivers licence.
It is amazing and I cannot stop listening to it. The remix with Taylor Swift’s Getaway Car is also impeccable. What’s important to note is this section of the song:
And you’re probably with that blonde girl
Who always made me doubt
She’s so much older than me
She’s everything I’m insecure about
So we know it’s about Josh and Sabrina. The whole world knows it’s about them in the same way that whole world knew that Style was about Harry Styles. It’s just obvious.
She is making a MINT off this heartbreak tho so don’t feel too bad for her. It’s breaking records and setting her up for a long career if she wants it.
Well obviously Joshua and Sabrina want in on this action.
Joshua releases a song called Lies, Lies, Lies. I think that’s rude and I think the original the it broke my heart song – Cry Me a River by Justin Timberlake – was better. We’re not going to talk about it because it’s not worth it.
We are going to talk about Sabrina’s response which came out today. This song is called Skin and it is wild.
Sabrina comes out of the gate swinging:
Maybe we could have been friends
If I met you in another life
Maybe then we could pretend
There’s no gravity in the words we write
Maybe you didn’t mean it
Maybe “blonde” was the only rhyme
The only rhyme
Then she gets into this:
I’m happy and you hate it, hate it, oh
And I’m not asking you to let it go
But you been tellin’ your side
So I’ll be tellin’ mine, oh
You’re tellin’ it how you see it
Like truth is whatever you decide
Some people will believe it
And some will read in between the lines
You’re putting me in the spotlight
But I’ve been under it all my life
THEN… this is the really WILD part says this in the bridge:
Don’t drive yourself insane.
So. Excuse me while I go join the Tiktoks kids and Gen Zs as we all collectively FREAK OUT. It is highly dramatic and I’m very much for it. But let the record show…